You are viewing osirisbrackhaus

 
 
19 July 2013 @ 02:00 pm
Lovers in Arms - new blurb  
As mentioned before, we're close to getting the print version online. But the back of a book offers more space for a better blurb, and so we're trying to expanding and hopefully improving it. Here's what I  have so far:

Old (short) blurb:
US Army Captain Frank Hawthorne returns to Germany, against orders, to testify at the Nuremberg trials. He’s attempting to save the life of Johann von Biehn, a former Nazi Officer. No one at the trials knows that three years ago, at the height of the war, Frank had been sent to kill the very man he is now defending—and that Johann is the love of his life. Frank must not reveal what happened between them during the war, but that leaves Frank with hardly any evidence to counter Johann's notorious career as a Nazi.

New:
WWII is over, and US Army Captain Frank Hawthorne returns to Germany. Despite explicit orders to the contrary, he will testify at the Nuremberg trials, attempting to save the life of Johann von Biehn, a former Nazi Officer.
No one at the trials knows that three years ago, at the height of the war, Frank had been sent to kill the very man he is now defending. Not only did he find a crucial ally against the Nazi regime in Johann, but also something he never expected to find at all - the love of his life.
With his own government fobidding Frank to reveal anything that happened during the war, and society forcing him to keep their relationship an unspoken secret, Frank is left with hardly any evidence to counter Johann's all-but-certain death sentence.


Any suggestions, ideas or corrections from those who have read the book? Any sort of feedback will be highly appreciated.

 
 
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Milady OMlady_om on July 19th, 2013 11:45 pm (UTC)
My two cents. I would get rid of all the spoilers in this sentence: "Not only did he find a crucial ally against the Nazi regime in Johann, but also something he never expected to find at all - the love of his life."

Right now the blurb has only one unknown - will Johann escape the death sentence? How about having a second (and in my opinion much more delicious) unknown - why would Frank go against orders to defend the man he was ordered to kill? Yes, it is answered on the first page of the book, but that would make a potential reader open the first chapter which is what you want, right? That's what drew me in (other that it was *you* who wrote the book) - what did happen between them during the war? Now you just give it away in the blurb.
osirisbrackhausosirisbrackhaus on July 20th, 2013 07:10 am (UTC)
Mmh... I see you point, but wouldn't that leave the blurb without any hint that this is a m/m romance? I mean, it'll be clear from all sort of context, but isn't that important? *headscratch*

This is why I put the question up here - I just feel a little too close to the subject to feel objective about it.

(And btw, you chiming in is worth much more than two cents to me. ^^)
Milady OMlady_om on July 20th, 2013 06:26 pm (UTC)
Um, if they can't get that it's m/m from the (magnificent!) cover... they cannot be helped ;)

Yeah, you can imply that it was the "love of his life," but you don't have to as blunt as to say that in those exact words. That's what blurbs are all about - teasing :)

And "ally against Nazis" spoiler is irrelevant to the romance thing.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )